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Last Friday, I got the text that most women dread to see. No, not the, “I think we should be friends” message from your current mate/boo or the “Hey, I think I saw your boyfriend with another girl” message. I got the “Hey, did you hear your ex boyfriend is engaged?” type of message. Blah.
Now, not in any way shape or form do I still have any type of feelings or communication with my ex boyfriend, but I can honestly say that a little (or large – it just depends on whose doing the measuring) piece of me felt like crawling under a rock and dying.
One month short of 25 brings on many life realizations and hearing that your ex-boyfriend, who was once the many you thought you would spend your life with, is getting married, doesn’t make your mid mid-life crisis any better.
I’m sure I know what you’re all thinking while reading this: this girl still has feelings for this man. Well, you’re wrong. The problem doesn’t lie within my heart or feelings for him – not in the least bit of a way. The situation at hand is what many single women go through when something like this happens: when is it going to be my turn?
Not to say that I’m even a little bit ready for marriage – because I’m not – but I can say that seeing people your age or younger than you settling down and taking that next step is something that makes you really think about the path that you’re taking in life, the things you’re doing or lack thereof and the type of men you are letting in and out of your life.
Hearing the news of my ex-boyfriend becoming engaged hit me because I think I realized that I don’t want to be the last single person walking the earth. I’m a strong believer that everyone deserves their own happiness regardless of what they have to do to get it. I’m more than happy that they (my ex and his current fiancé) were able to find theirs, but I can’t help but think about the “what if’s”…
Regardless of how decent or nasty a breakup was, you’ll always wonder what would have happened if it never did. Would you be the person with the ring on your finger or would you still be “in a relationship” 15 years down the line? In the same breath though, doesn’t it make you wonder if you would be where you are right now if it never happened? Would you be this happy or would you be less than that?
The most important thing that we have to remember is that everything happens exactly how it is supposed to. Most of the time, we’re blind to it at first, but later on down the line, it’ll become clear to us. A long time ago, an older lady told me something that will always stick with me. She said, “You’re young, don’t rush. Be grateful that you have the time to find your husband before you’re married. Most people don’t have that luxury of doing that.” I never understood it at first, but I think I’m starting to get it now.