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In life, we have this odd habit of seeing or hearing and wanting. We see a pair of shoes that a star is wearing and no matter how ugly they are one of us will want them because of who wore them. We hear a rapper drop a name brand in their song and we automatically stalk the stores to see how many they have in stock or how much we have to save up to get it. Unfortunately though, this “see it and want it” syndrome stands the same for some of our relationships. Don’t get it yet? Don’t worry, you will…
The other week, I had a conversation – or more like a vent session – with one of my close female friends. She was having the same problem that most of the women of my generation are having: being single.
Throughout the conversation, I kept hearing her name all of the things she wanted in her man. From the amount of education he needs to have to the way his body is built – I mean she gave the entire rundown! While listening to her vent about how sucky being single was, I couldn’t help but ask her if she ever thought that she could be single because she’s creating a man that doesn’t exist?
While you may argue that she “doesn’t want to settle” or that her “standards are obtainable,” one has to really wonder if we have a habit of “seeing and wanting.”
By that, I mean we want something that isn’t as realistic as it seems. It’s pretty much like living in fantasyland. You see a type of relationship in the media and you want it. Not to say that you can’t get a relationship similar to that, but obtaining exactly that is impossible.
Do I fault my friend for wanting the best for herself? Absolutely not. I do, however, believe that she is looking for perfection in a mate and that, my friends, cannot be obtained.
We seldom realize that perfection in a relationship or mate is not what we should strive for because we ourselves are not as perfect as the mate that we are envisioning. Instead of wanting the perfect man or woman who we think we are being exposed to by the media, we should be striving to obtain the perfect person for us. The person to accept each and every one of our flaws and embrace them because they love us. The person who you wake up to every morning and fall in love with all over again. The person, that even when you’re upset with them, you realize how blessed you are to have them as that special person in your life.
So, instead of searching for this perfect person with who meets all of these criteria’s that you’ve implemented for a mate, strive to find that perfect fit to your puzzle. You deserve that.