The summer is over. Fall is rapidly approaching, and as we see our sunshiny days become shorter, the inevitable happens to us “single in the city” folk…our nights become longer. Laying awake in bed alone at night can cause some strange thoughts to come to mind. Instantly memories of all the warm & fuzzy (and even hot & steamy) moments flood your subconscious and you think of that person. That person who still has you thinking “What If??” That person who, even though you may have been separated for X amount of time, the intimacy between you two may have been so sizzling that if they called you may just answer…

DON’T!

DO NOT call/text/facebook/instagram/tweet/any damn social network THEM.

…and DO NOT allow them to contact you.

Before we get into this one, you may need to pour yourself a strong one honey.

Sex with your ex. A taboo topic we don’t really talk about much, mainly because it’s embarrassing. No one really wants to talk about the fact that they are dipping back into the pot after the meal is over, and with good reason. Put aside for a moment the comfort you may find in being intimate with someone from your past, and for one moment consider the cost. As we all know, if you keep picking at a wound that’s trying to heal, all it will do is leave a nasty scar. The interesting thing is, love is no different. It is no way for you to fully heal and be over a situation if you continue to let this person back into your life, your bed, and ultimately, your heart. Consider the reasons you broke up or separated. Consider all of those feelings you went through that made you even consider the separation. To avoid the mistakes of the past and the repetitive heartbreak, it’s important that we do NOT repeat the same behaviors. You are worth more. Better. Consequently, the only way to get these things is to demand it, and it starts as everything else does, with you. Even if it takes a few nights of “self-love”, a nice R&B CD….some candles….and maybe even a few tears here & there….in the end, when you find true love…you will be eternally grateful that you are fully able to receive it.

Remember, you can’t fly in the clouds if you are weighed down by a whole bunch of baggage.

Talk to Me Divas! Are YOU still feeling those feelings for an EX?